Surviving a Shounen Manga – Episode 88

Now, Bring It to Me

Maybe… a tiny bit stronger?

After sending a few people flying as a test, I got a rough estimate of the capabilities.

They weren’t particularly strong. Perhaps a little better than those pursuers from Eastland?

Although, these people had all been members of various groups that had that ‘weak’^[1] Haka as an executive. They were extras. It would’ve been weirder if they’d had the strength to surprise me.

Of course, some of them were a little better. There’d been a guy who used throwing knives, he was pretty nimble and had a rather sharp bite.

Although, he hadn’t been able to stop Coocoo in his normal pigeon shape from suppressing him.

“Coocoo, don’t just keep hitting that guy, go fly up and do some reconnaissance! Get a sense of how many of these guys there are.”

I shouted at Coocoo, who was still banging the head of that guy, by now clearly unconscious, against a small boulder.

“Hmph! This bastard cut off my feathers!”

Saying that, Coocoo hit him one more time, then quickly soared to the sky.

Overall, these newcomers were at around the same power level as the Eastland guys, but they were more troublesome. Because their movements were much more organized.

Even on a narrow mountain road, they moved in groups of at least three to five, and when one group attacked, all the other groups nearby would block the escape routes and co-ordinate between themselves so we’d never get a chance to breathe.

And to top it all off, they even started blowing a whistle every time they found us.

Ppiiiiiii-!

“They’re here!”

“Moving towards that ridge!”

“Keep reporting their location!”

Their actions did give me a certain satisfaction, true. Because evidently these newcomers were at a higher level compared to the ones before.

I was sure that the readers had also noticed it right away.

Like, ah! Some stronger guys have appeared!

But,

‘If only they were a little fewer in number.’

The problem was, again, their number. They had enough people to crowd a mountain, for heaven’s sake!

My head was aching. Should I get rid of them all, or run away and leave them behind?

Tanya would meet her fellow Huntington Bandits and hand over Ramirez at the central city of Serman.

My geographical knowledge was quite rudimentary, but at a guess, we’d need around ten more days to reach there.

Spending ten days rife with tension facing ‘guys at this level’… well, it wasn’t easy.

Because I was much too strong.

Although my level had fallen, and my physical abilities had apparently declined, that didn’t mean these guys could cause me any trouble.

Sure, I was acting like this was a bit of a crisis that’d left me bewildered, but if I really wanted to, I could clean them up anytime. It would’ve taken me maybe half a day.

And the worst part of it was, there was no way the readers couldn’t tell that. Readers really paid attention these days. A little bit of sandbagging might make me look cute, but any more than that and they’d point it out immediately.

Also, above all else, I had no intention of showing the readers a scene where I got actually hurt. I’d rather not appear at all, than that.

Therefore, roughly speaking, I had to clean those guys up to salvage the situation.

But then the next question was what to do about the next wave.

Either there should be more attackers, or they should be stronger…

“Huff…”

Were there really such people?

Because honestly, from the looks of it, didn’t the whole organization seem to be out here?

So,

“Come this way.”

“Isn’t this the way we came?”

“I know. Still, the road’s narrow, so we don’t have to worry about being surrounded. It’s than being out in the open anyway, what if they have archers who fill us with arrows from range?”

I had no choice but to drag things on while we advanced.

“Ah…”

Of course, it didn’t actually matter. Whether they shot a bow, or a gun, or a cannon.

Even if Kiriko shot me with his magic bullets, I was confident I could block them without any damage.

There was only one criterion for me while choosing the path. We had to move in a direction where we wouldn’t get to see the full number of the enemies. That was why I’d taken a turn towards the mountains instead of the river, and moving from forest to forest, staying in cover as much as we could.

We had to see as few of them as possible, at least for a few days.

“First, let’s find somewhere that’s safe from the rear. We can’t keep running forever, right? We have to counterattack.”

“Safe from the rear, huh…”

Then,

“… Why can’t I see it?”

A new problem arose.

Tanya began to stare at me with strange eyes.

“What is it?”

“… How come I can’t see a path?”

“What?”

“The safe place… must be here? I’m a guide, so I tend to see the possible paths a little better.”

“…”

I blinked. Right, come to think of it… this woman was a guide of extraordinary ability.

Naturally, nowhere on this mountain was safer than by my side.

I was caught flatfooted.

“Uh… is that so? That’s bad.”

“Is there something hidden here? No there’s not. Huh?”

“Umm… maybe you’re too tired to see the path right now? Please take a brief rest and then another look.”

“… Is that so?”

There was no time to chat.

Before this woman caught on, I had to find a cave or something.

While I was quickly scanning all directions to find a cave –

Suddenly,

– It’s been a long time, Chief.

A shrill voice rang in my ear.

“Huh?”

I turned my head in surprise, but nothing caught my eye.

What was that?

That was then.

– Shhh, this is Haka. I’m hiding under the shade of the tree right next to you. If you understand, just nod your head.

Oh, oh!

I nodded reflexively.

Rather than responding to Haka’s words, it was just a natural reaction.

Finally, my party member caught up.

The same bastard who’d given me such ‘help’ that’d turned out to be an even bigger trouble^[2].

I glanced at the tree Haka was referring to.

The shadow of the tree seemed to shiver.

– I’m using a special potion to whisper like this. A lot of them dropped in my lap while I was reorganizing the underground gangs. Sir Cocoavi said you don’t want me to be seen for some reason? So I thought of using this.

A whisper potion, huh?

I’d used it too, back at the Goldam Casino.

I remembered Leo and I sitting at the poker table, when I whispered to him that he could win. Perhaps that’d been the moment my existence was first engraved upon Leo and the readers. That was my first time twisting the original’s plotline, too.

Haka’s voice came again, breaking my nostalgia.

– I was surprised, though. You told me to come and attack you with my entire army.

“…”

I bit my lips.

What nonsense. I never said that! Although I hadn’t specified the exact number, but I’d clearly told them to divide the troops in waves.

Cocoa, that idiot, was really…

That was then.

– Still, just to be on the safe side, I only brought a tenth…

… What?

For a moment, I thought I’d misheard.

What did he mean?

– And I brought the bottom-rung personnel for the first move, too…

‘… Really?’

This was crazy. It made no sense. He had ten times this number?

Didn’t they fill up an entire mountain just now?

And only the weakest ones had been sent?

– Looking at your face, I think I made a mistake? Alright, I’ll bring in enough people right now to cover this entire mountain range…

At that moment,

“No!”

I screamed reflexively.

“Wh-, what’s this so suddenly? You fell into a daze and then suddenly started screaming…”

“Uh… no. It’s nothing.”

After appeasing Tanya somehow, I pretended to have a headache and shook my head.

This was already enough. If the numbers went up any more, there’d be no coming back.

Soon,

– So there were too many? Then I’ll take stock and disperse most of the troops apart from a moderate number. Oh, I’ll also leave a mark, so you can come find me once night comes. We’ll be waiting nearby.

The words I’d really wanted to hear from Haka finally came.

How amazing. It felt like pure honey dripping into my ears.

Ah, that’s good.

Honestly, this guy really wasn’t some ordinary character.

He really wasn’t somebody who should’ve suddenly vanished like in the original.

‘I’ll take you with me to see the end!’

While I was feeling determined,

“But… are we really going to stay here? I know I’m a guide, but we can also make mistakes. Look, there…”

Tanya hesitated and spoke up.

Her fingers were pointing at the masked men surrounding us.

“Hm? Oh, that. it’s fine.”

“Huh?”

“It’s fine.”

I grinned.

Now it was time to relax a little bit.

---

That night.

After making sure Tanya was asleep, I came out of the cave.

She’d been running around frantically all day to handle the assailants, but she’d fallen asleep really quickly.

Outside, Nero and Coocoo were dozing off.

They had to be tired, too. Because I’d had them scouting this and that mountain, over and over again.

I haven’t shared my plans with them yet. If it were Coocoo alone, I would’ve talked to him in my spare time, but Nero has been glued to me all day, so I hadn’t had the chance yet.

In fact, I still didn’t know why the cat was here.

“Hey, get inside and go to sleep. Both of you.”

“… Eh? Squatjaw? Where’re you headed so late?”

“I’ll just take a walk and do some reconnaissance.”

That was then.

“You… sure you aren’t running away from Tanya?”

Nero said something strange.

What nonsense.

“Why would I run away? No, wait – come to think of it, why are you here exactly? What’re you planning?”

I decided to ask Nero about his intentions.

“Coocoo said that you’ve been following him since the Skull Empire. What’s the reason?”

After a little spell of silence –

“None of your business.”

Oh, now he was pretending to be aloof and turning his head away?

“Haah…”

It was so ridiculous that I was left speechless.

I didn’t have the time right now, but I felt like I should have a proper conversation with this weirdo of a cat sometime soon.

‘What is he, a little kid? It’s kinda cute though.’

After watching the two crawl inside the cave, I started searching for the sign.

Haka’s hiding place wasn’t very far away.

Not even 100m away, in fact.

“Oh, you came.”

Haka greeted me with the same old face and the same old attitude.

“Yo, long time no see.”

“How have you been?”

“Forget about me; Haka, you look like you’re doing well, aren’t you?”

Haka smiled softly.

Seeing his eyes crinkle into slits, he really seemed to be enjoying himself.

“By the way, what happened Sir Chinuavi? Did he stay behind at the Goblins’ Den?”

“Nah, nah. I knew you were going to ask!”

I immediately started regaling Haka with the story of us meeting the goblins.

Currently, Chinuavi was waiting at a city in the central region with the hundred goblins I’d brought with me.

“Imagine it. A hundred goblins! Feeling excited?”

But,

“Hmm, I guess. I’m feeling curious.”

The reaction was kind of odd. It was much too bland for a goblin-head like Haka.

“What, that can’t be all you feel?”

Then,

“I decided to put a stop to my goblin obsession. And honestly speaking, for a human to be so obsessed with goblins… is a bit weird.”

Haka replied with a smile as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“Eeeh…”

How perplexing.

This was completely out of the blue.

Was Haka breaking free from his goblin obsession? Was that even possible for a character?

He’d been designed that way, full of longing for the goblins…

For a moment, I wondered if the author had a hand in it.

‘But… I thought it’s impossible to directly interfere with already created characters?’

If the author had been able to tweak the setting at will, my character wouldn’t have been here by now.

As far as I could remember, there’d never been such a case – except that time when he’d healed Karl Zayed’s wounds at will (although this was just my feeling, and I didn’t have any physical evidence).

“Hmmm…”

No. Even if it was possible, the author wouldn’t have touched Haka directly. Because he wasn’t very significant as far as the future plotline went.

That said, perhaps Haka’s core identity had never been about ‘goblins’ at all. Or perhaps something new had taken its place.

‘What’s he focused on now? … Maybe, finally being on a team, or something like that?’

It didn’t sound very appropriate for a character like Haka, but that was just from the outside. Maybe, even though he always pretended otherwise, he’d been craving people’s affection all this time.

But, of course, I didn’t have the time to dig deep into this right now.

I decided to have a separate conversation with the man later.

“No, wait.”

I suddenly felt goosebumps cover my flesh.

“I hope, you…”

“Yes?”

“Haven’t you?”

“What…?”

“Spread rumours about the goblins? Have you told Leo and the guys about the goblins like I asked?”

He must’ve. Right? Surely.

I’d even asked him to do it, so please –

“… I was trying to avoid talking about it, but you caught me. I tried to change the subject, but it was quickly discovered. Your eyes have gotten keener, Mr. Squatjaw. Heh.”

… Was this guy smiling right now?

“But look, didn’t I manage to gather so many people instead?”

“Eeh…”

It wasn’t funny. He’d missed doing the most important task.

The fact that he hadn’t told Leo’s party about the goblins meant that the readers didn’t know much about them either.

This was an unexpected problem.

If nobody knew anything about the goblins, no matter how well I directed the scenes, I had no way to make a big splash with their introduction. There were no expectations to be met – hell, nobody would even recognize them. They didn’t look particularly flashy, after all.

Besides, I couldn’t reveal my ‘identity’ in a ‘plausible’ way unless the context had been explained first.

That was the biggest mess. Even the goblins themselves weren’t much of a worry in comparison.

I lifted my head and looked at Haka.

A real itch to smash that ‘smiling face as if asking what was wrong’ was creeping up on me.

“Haah…”

Calm, calm.

I tried to calm my mind.

Goblins… they were for later, anyway. I could think about them again later.

‘Let’s skip that decision for now. After all, I got to do some flashy work today.’

I had more urgent decisions to make.

I’d realized something while defeating the raiders today. It was so natural and simple that it was a wonder it’d taken me so long to remember it.

They were all, in the end, Haka’s assets.

In other words, they were part of my strength too.

Of course, they weren’t very powerful as allies. But even so, a lightbulb had gone off in my head.

A large number of people could be a source of strength in any situation. Especially when it came to information. For underworld organizations that acted as information brokers, the number of intelligence-gathering personnel in the field far outstripped in importance the number of armed combatants.

I’d blown away a lot of those good friends today…

I’d overlooked it because the situation had been urgent, but this was also quite a dilemma. I needed a sandbag to publicly beat up, yet it felt like I was peeling off my own flesh.

That was then.

“Oh, you don’t have to worry too much about attrition.”

Haka spoke with a very calm face.

“Huh?”

“I called up a new bunch of guys to replace these guys. They’ll probably gather in about three days. We can keep using our own personnel till then.”

“Who… whom did you call?”

“Did you know that you’re famous right now?”

“Me? Here in Westland?”

“Ummm… yeah, all over the continent.”

What Haka said next was somewhat shocking.

“I’m being targeted for assassination? Geniuses and monsters from all over are coming for my head?”

“The real greats haven’t joined yet, of course. But what do you think will happen if you survived this constant threat?”

This crazy bastard.

Was this the type of news somebody should deliver with a smile like that?

“Like I said, the big fish aren’t going to come right away. They don’t move their asses easily. But if the treasure the red-haired woman is holding is really as valuable as you say… then people might think of killing two birds with one stone, and join up to both get the treasure and take you down, sir. That’s what I think will probably happen.”

“…”

I pondered for a moment.

Should I pat myself on the back?

This naturally didn’t sabotage the author’s plans. Rather, the scenes would come out better. No matter the reason, a rise in the number of talents coming here meant that the battle itself would be more spectacular. Much more than the original.

And, perhaps, it also meant that I had more room to move.

There was only one question, could I afford to?

‘Even if my level hadn’t dropped…’

As far as I knew, there were at least five people I expected to be stronger than me in this scramble. Dealing with them would already be a headache, and there might also be Assassin Kings targeting me in the meantime?

“Huff…”

“What, aren’t you confident?”

Haka looked at me and grinned.

What a bizarre story. How could I, a goblin more malicious than anyone else, give up like this?

“… That’s funny.”

I shook my head vigorously.

“This is my excited face, my excited face! I’m thinking of eating them all up and becoming stronger.”

“… As expected of you, sir.”

“Okay, let’s plan some [contents] before we get to Serman^[3].”

“[C-o-n]… what’re you talking about?”

“Let’s make some backup plans. For example, what if those assassins you mentioned don’t come? We’d have no choice but to mobilize your personnel.”

“They’ll come. There’s no doubt.”

“Alright, first, let’s take stock of our own people. What’s the total headcount, how strong they are…”

So the meeting went on all night.

---

Ten days later.

The city of Serman, in the central region of Westland.

“Finally!”

I silently watched Tanya run around screaming in joy.

“Thank you, Squatjaw! Thanks!”

“Don’t mention it.”

The past ten days could be called intense, but could also be called boring.

Let’s just say that I’d managed to show my face to the readers.

The assassins did arrive three days later, just as Haka had predicted. But their numbers had been much smaller than expected. And they’d been weak, too.

Haka said it couldn’t be helped.

“That redhead’s treasure is more impressive than I thought. Apparently most of the assassins got cold feet when they got wind of who were planning to come next.”

It wasn’t funny.

Apparently they didn’t want to come just to die.

In any case, since we faced far fewer attacks than expected, there’d been no choice but to sacrifice more members of our gang than initially planned.

Haka had laughed it off calling them ‘useless deadwood’, but it was still embarrassing. That guy might be cruel by nature, so he might’ve been okay with it, but not me.

Or rather, it really felt like a waste.

At that moment,

“I will definitely repay you!”

Tanya was saying goodbye.

However,

“Yeah, yeah. But where’s your party?”

“I told them to wait in the plaza.”

“I’ll escort you there, then.”

I didn’t plan to just go our separate ways, after all.

“Ah? Um… actually, it’s fine. You don’t need…”

“Just in case. Did you forget how many bastards came at us these last ten days? You can’t relax now, right?”

“I suppose.”

“Let’s go, then.”

I followed Tanya, who was walking hesitantly, to the plaza with slow steps.

After a while –

At the plaza, ‘they’ had been waiting for Tanya in advance.

The Huntington Bandits.

I couldn’t remember how many members they had in total, but there were seven people in the plaza.

“Here, girl!”

“Come here, Tanya!”

“You survived!”

I didn’t stop Tanya from running towards them.

“Squatjaw, these are my friends. They’re called the Huntington Bandits… have you heard of them?”

Unlike how hesitant she’d been initially, Tanya’s face now looked very bright.

“Yeah, I think I have.”

“Then, do you know?”

“What?”

“We aren’t the type to always keep our promises.”

“… Oh?”

“You’ve been following me to get paid. Right?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“But I’m sorry, you know? I’ve got nothing to give you.”

Tanya grinned, a smile that looked really innocent.

One could even call it infectious.

So,

“Oh, that’s fine. I’ll just take it.”

“Eh?”

I was laughing along with her.

Then I slowly started counting.

“One, two, three…”

“… What’re you doing? Are you trying to attack us? Look, no matter how strong you are, there’re eight of us, and we’ve also hired…”

“Seven, eight, nine, ten.”

At that moment,

Tiling–.

The news I’d been waiting for, arrived.

[Chapter 26 – ‘Tanya’ has ended]

[Hiro’s character evaluation has been updated]

[‘Always in a rush’ has been added to the characteristics]

[The support of many readers followed]

⁝

“That’s the end of this chapter. And your leading point of view is over too.”

“What? What do you…”

“No one’s watching you anymore.”

I grinned once more as Tanya watched me, befuddled. “Now, bring it to me. The ‘Ramirez’.”

---

Editor’s Notes:

[1] The hierarchy of strength has been explained before, weak < normal < strong < monster. Since the era of upheaval has started, presumably Haka has now become weak whereas he would’ve been a normal/strong character before this (as would be expected from the rival’s teammate in a shounen manga).

[2] 약 먼저 주고, 이어서 병 준 (lit. give the medicine first and then the disease). This flips the usual phrase ‘give the disease first and then the medicine’, which means somebody gives you trouble first and then helps you out.

[3] After the port city, British, we now have a city after the Germans. The author is proudly carrying on the tradition that started with Big and Virgin City.

---

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